Breaking News!!!

Ok , this deviates a bit from the theme of this blog but wrote it today and thought few of you may enjoy it.

I also write at Fropper ezBlogs and this post was intended for there.

Fropper Link

The way I see the Media, especially TV having breaking news every 30th of a milisecond, I sometimes wonder, what will be the Headlines of the future.

Disclaimer - The content below is completely original and resemblance to any living pig is totally intended!
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Breaking News 1.

A 6 year old boy , Dhakelu - watches TV for 24 hours non-stop!
Oh we forgot to tell you that he was in a 90 feet deep well.Since we have come a long way from the time when Mr Prince ( he was last seen digging a well in Rajasthan, but who cares now) fell in a deep well and we earned lots of money and $$$ and footage , today we were able to provide a 1 Ton AC, 42" LCD TV, One fridge to him within 20 minutes of his fall.

We have installed special cameras for your better viewing and also have sent a Make-up man, a Gym trainer to help poor Dhakelu out. Also, we have installed donation boxes outside 35673 temples in the name of Dhakelu.Please donate generously so that I can plan my 5th honeymoon in Switzzerland with my 4th boyfriend .If you cant go to temple, then SMS DHAKELUTV to 420840 and we will happily deduct Rs 5 from your account.

Please stay tuned,very soon our honorable Minster will come to visit Dhakelu in the well.We will tell you more after this very short break of 15 minutes.

Breaking News 2

Left Parties go Right
In a surprising development, today Left parties decided that our PM cannot walk with his right leg, since it does not comply with the communist ideology.For your information, our PM cannot use his Left leg as per the contract of the alliance between Left Parties and Kaan-grass.So, all work has been stalled since special wheelchairs from China are yet to arrive.
This led to a huge uproar in the Power-lia-(did-not)-meant and all the Chickens oops Members decided to walk out on their Left leg.There was some commotion as one male chicken could not balance himself and fell on one esteemed young female chicken.We apologise that we cant show you the footage since the censors have banned it.

Breaking News 3

Munna Dhatt drinks 20 ML more milk than yesterday!!!
Munna Dhattt, our beloved ex-druggie and Gunner, drank 20 ML more milk than yesterday in Yeda Jail.His closed friends, authorities and even the Rampyari in Jogeshwari tabela are overjoyed after hearing this news.One of his close friend said. "It was not right that someone like Munna had to go to jail and drink Urea- milk for so long.What about preferential treatment to celebrities like him? The times are very bad, innocent common man today is going scot free and our dear Munna is in jail.The Chillum industry is totally behind Munna because lot of money is invested in him."
To mark this occasion , we will conduct a debate on importance of Rampyari''s milk at 8 PM today. Dont miss it!
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Phew! This is for today. Hope it was good fun for all of you.Your comments may encourage me to write more of this in later posts!
Cheers,
Me

Chak De comments

	My contribution to this holy blog :D One of the Chak De girls - Sagarika Ghatge (Preeti Sabarwal) was on rediff recently and this is what people had to say about them http://specials.rediff.com/movies/2007/aug/31preety.htm nothing by sanjay on Aug 31, 2007 08:20 PM hi this is sanjay patel i would like to congragulate u for your acting in chak de. being a sporty person i liked your body language as a sports person; al the best for your future ,if time permits will meet bye take care,god bless you.
	RE:nothing by AR on Aug 31, 2007 11:58 PM What do u meen by body language plz be specific!! "if time permits will meet"who the heck do u think u r?? RE:nothing by lax on Sep 01, 2007 12:11 AM did u meet her on Aug28... rakshabandhan.. bhaiya mere.. rakhi ke bandhan ko nibhana.. RE:nothing by Raja Bhaiyya on Sep 01, 2007 01:21 PM @sangay kya be khajoor RE:nothing by andru blacet on Sep 02, 2007 04:04 AM isko maaf kar do bhai logon. patel hai na. thoda akkal se kamzor hai.

Preeti Best one
by nilesh machindra ugale on Sep 03, 2007 05:13 PM | Hide replies

Preeti Sabarwal is looking dam beauty


The following is a example of how personal can people get over non-issues.

	Its official by Baburao on Sep 03, 2007 11:57 AM | Don't waste your time correcting the spelling,its official to spell proper nouns and Indian words as the South Indians would do. Few examples. Geetha for Geeta Muhurtham For Muhurt Elephant God For Ganesh or Ganapati(Ganapathi?)
	RE:Its official by Ameya Bhakay on Sep 03, 2007 12:37 PM You dumb ass... Sagarika is a Maharashtrian, not a South Indian. And the difference I am talking about is like, changing your name to Bagurao or Babugao... samjha? RE:Its official by Baburao on Sep 03, 2007 01:16 PM Aare Ghatya,Me Lihilele Jar Tula samajle aste tar prashnach navta.Me navachya spelling baddal bolalo tichya jaati baddal nahi. Samazle? RE:RE:Its official by Bobby on Sep 03, 2007 01:20 PM a gya ap ni au kat per RE:Its official by Ameya Bhakay on Sep 03, 2007 05:32 PM :-) Alas laiki var kutrya? Yedya, mi suddha jaati baddal bolat nahi yed zavya. Tuzha explaination svataah vaach adhi, ani mag bhoonk... kalla kutrya?

Comments On How HR depts tackle attrition

Source : http://www.rediff.com/money/2007/sep/03attrition.htm

The cyber majdoor has got some suggestions for you HR people! And some for Rediff too! Check these out !

Sample I

Ways to tackle Attrition !!!
by Bhola on Sep 03, 2007 04:48 PM | Hide replies

H.R. Dept.
1. Should increase packages of employees by 30 % every year.
2. S*xy ladies should be kept in the office in the ratio of 1 men : 2 ladies.
3. Good food should be served free of cost in the company premises.
4. There should be 4 working days / week with 6 hour per day (including breakfast / lunch).
5. There should be entertainment facilities like Men and Women Swimming Pool , one picture every Sunday to all staff and Hotel Party to all employees.
6. Performace Bonus should be given @ 3 months salary during Diwali p.a. (Irrespective of company's finacial performace).
7. Daily allowance while Outstation travelling should be @ of Rs. 500 / day.
8. Lastly, there should be less work on each employee's table.

Forward | Report abuse

RE:Ways to tackle Attrition !!!
by m m on Sep 03, 2007 04:51 PM
You SAID it Bhola!!!!! I wish you run a bisiness with all these facilities, I will be the first to join you!!!!

Forward | Report abuse

RE:Ways to tackle Attrition !!!
by Amrit Patil on Sep 03, 2007 04:58 PM
Please add one more demand, every weekend company should throw a Cocktail dinner party.

Forward | Report abuse

Sample II

here they are talking about whether this Article was cooked properly...

Attrition
by Umakant Hulyalkar on Sep 03, 2007 04:03 PM | Hide replies

The article is halfcooked. After reading the bold title, I though I would find something really innovative to address the problem. But there is absolutely nothing inside. And I am not sure if Genpact's idea recruiting 15% can be termed as innovative !!!

Forward | Report abuse

RE:Attrition
by Bond Kumar on Sep 03, 2007 04:29 PM
agreed

Forward | Report abuse

RE:Attrition
by gireesh pillai on Sep 03, 2007 04:35 PM
Not even half cooked. Its totally useless

Forward | Report abuse

RE:Attrition
by suni mathew on Sep 03, 2007 04:51 PM
not only useless. It's piece of shit....

Forward | Report abuse

And here are few Rediff users, trying to find each other! Hats off to their creativity!

Sample III

Lets make a difference
by Roshni S on Aug 29, 2007 03:02 PM | Hide replies

Way 2 go
Awesome

Forward | Report abuse

RE:Lets make a difference
by Mehta Associates on Aug 29, 2007 03:27 PM
Is this Roshni sen of South Point, by any chance?

Forward | Report abuse

RE:Lets make a difference
by Shashank on Aug 29, 2007 03:44 PM
is this Mehta Associates of Kanpur by any chance ?

Forward | Report abuse

RE:Lets make a difference
by Sujit Kumar on Aug 29, 2007 05:52 PM
Is this Shashank from TORA-BORA hill, Afganistan ?

Forward | Report abuse

RE:Lets make a difference
by arpit patel on Aug 29, 2007 06:47 PM
IS this sujit Kumar from kala ghoda

Forward | Report abuse


Cheers guys! You rock!
Me.

Pom Pom Pom Pom....

Again, Rediff takes the cake. I think they have cracked the code of writing articles which incite comments from the users. When I saw the link to this article, about Rakhi Swant, I was damn sure that it is going to be a goldmine! Sample this chain of comments,


Pom-pom!
by bharat on Sep 03, 2007 04:26 PM | Hide replies

Pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom......

RE:Pom-pom!
by babitha devkar on Sep 03, 2007 04:29 PM
what was that?

RE:Pom-pom!
by selva on Sep 03, 2007 04:31 PM
i think, he is pressing horn...

RE:Pom-pom!
by bharat on Sep 03, 2007 04:33 PM
This is my spontaneous reaction after seeing the picture! I remembered those old fashioned horn used for buses and trucks.

RE:Pom-pom!
by Cool_Cooler on Sep 03, 2007 04:36 PM
iu feel laugh !

RE:Pom-pom!
by pradeep das on Sep 03, 2007 04:36 PM
"The Best" reaction

RE:Pom-pom!
by shovon dasgupta on Sep 03, 2007 04:38 PM
Indian Pamela..

I am sure that more gems will appear on this article in some time.Will keep adding!
Cheers,
Me

Asshole Driven Development

This comes from the classic post by Scott Burken on Asshole Driven Development, where he came up with the acronym ADD, and the users obliged with their inputs.Its hilarious, will surely advise you to check out the post ad the comments there.Here are few gems,

Asshole Driven development (ADD) - Any team where the biggest jerk makes all the big decisions is asshole driven development. All wisdom, logic or process goes out the window when Mr. Asshole is in the room, doing whatever idiotic, selfish thing he thinks is best. There may rules and processes, but Mr. A breaks them and people follow anyway.

• Steve - June 19th, 2007 at 6:10 pm

  Shovel-Driven Development

  Get it out the door as quickly as possible, cut-n-paste from anything that you find that works on Google, if it works it’s ready. Closely related to “Duct-tape Driven Design”

• Venkat - June 20th, 2007 at 7:35 am

  Blame The People Worked and Left (BTPWAL): When you see a glitch, doesn’t matter whether your code caused it or not…through it on the people worked on this project and left the organization. I see this frequently in consulting environments.

• Joe - June 20th, 2007 at 11:12 am

  IWTWD (It’s What They Wanted Development) — Absolving oneself of all accountability by inventing a group of people known as “they” and blaming them for one’s own inability to design and develop a usable system.

• Wolfgang - June 21st, 2007 at 4:48 am

  NDD - Nerd Driven Development. Requires every new and fancy technology to be used in the next project. Just for the sake of it, no matter whether it actually make sense.

• MAV - June 21st, 2007 at 7:32 am

  Don’t forget the Mao Model of Management. (MMM) Thats where you’re never told what you should be doing, you’re only told what you shouldn’t be doing. Generally you are told what you shouldn’t be doing only after you’ve started doing it.

• Chase - June 21st, 2007 at 8:34 am TMCD - To many chiefs, not enough Indians. When you have 6 bosses each trying to take the project in different directions. At least one boss wants you to figure out why his laptop keeps locking up and another wants you to come to his house to setup the interweb. The others require you to attend at least one 3 hour long conference call with them per week.
• Santosh - June 21st, 2007 at 1:52 pm

  Everything is High Priority (EHP) - Management comes and tell you that something is required ASAP and next day something else is required ASAP - in the end nothing gets done!

• jeff - June 21st, 2007 at 6:32 pm

  very funny! i submit Cross Your Fingers Development, where allotted development time is so short there’s no time for tests, and so at release time you just cross your fingers and hope it works.

• Caleb Jenkins - June 26th, 2007 at 11:42 am

  I think that we left off the MPP - Marco Polo Process. That where the customer stands in one spot and says “Marco”, and so the developers start blindly coding in that direction, only to get there and find that the customer has moved yet again, “Marco!”, so we start blindly coding again in another direction. Process continues until everyone gets tired and decides to finally get out of the pool.

  “Polo!”

I can go on and on, they are endless! May be the non-techie people will not understand much of it, but I am sure my friends in the IT industry will surely relate to it!

Hope you enjoyed this post!
Cheers,
Me

More More More!!!

Fridays are fun! TGIF!

Check this out ,

Reference : Review of Victoria No 203 on Rediff

Without the Khans , Bollywood would be Nowhere
by sm on Aug 31, 2007 06:24 PM | Hide replies

Without the Khans , Bollywood would be Nowhere

RE:RE:Without the Khans , Bollywood would be Nowhere
by s on Aug 31, 2007 06:47 PM
Hmm..Just like without sami rediff will be nowhere..hehe

RE:Without the Khans , Bollywood would be Nowhere
by M Aug 31, 2007 06:50 PM

without boby darling there is nothing left in ur life, sucker i asked u to visit boby darling (and all khans visit bobyy darling so u shud visit atleast once for the sake of khans, u will love her )n heloo hv u visited mental doctor or not

RE:Without the Khans , Bollywood would be Nowhere
by GC on Aug 31, 2007 07:13 PM
Sami. I was searching a NAMUNA. Just i found. U r really a great NAMUNA

RE:Without the Khans , Bollywood would be Nowhere
by RS on Aug 31, 2007 07:50 PM
khans should be thrown out coz its india...ok?

Me : Period, Do i need to say anything more? what a goldmine we have?

Cheers,
Me.

Introduction

Ok, guys...One of my favourite pastimes is to read comments made by the users on blogs,reviews,articles blah blah.Its hilarious to see the the reaction of the users upon few things.They get passionate,hurt,rejected,high and somehow try to take advantage of the anonymity offered by Internet.I will be posting regularly here few of the gems I come across.
Let me start with this one today -

Reference - Review of RGV ki Aag by Raja Sen on Rediff.

Sample 1

	RGV ki Aag..... Jo Jali He Nahi to Sholey Kahan Se Uthenge..... by xxx on Aug 31, 2007 04:45 PM | Ram Gopal Verma Ji Return My Ticket Money, Popcorn and Pepsi Money
	RE:RGV ki Aag..... Jo Jali He Nahi to Sholey Kahan Se Uthenge..... by yyy on Aug 31, 2007 04:47 PM are bhai........first you go to movie theatre and watch the movie and then say the above sentence if applicable RE:RGV ki Aag..... Jo Jali He Nahi to Sholey Kahan Se Uthenge..... by zzz on Aug 31, 2007 05:18 PM Who asked you to eat popcorn and pepsi

Just love the above one!

Sample 2

RGV ki Aag rocks.................. by xxxx on Aug 31, 2007 04:39 PM | Hide replies Movie rocks yar.........It is worth to watch...Donot miss good movie...You will enjoy it...... RE:RGV ki Aag rocks.................. by yyyy on Aug 31, 2007 04:54 PM Satish ji, Aap Mere paas Bangalore Chale Aiyye..Mai Aapko NIMHANS mein Bharti kar dunga.

For the uninitiated , NIMHANS stands for National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences.Lol!

and to End....

	Review... by mmmm on Aug 31, 2007 03:59 PM | Hide replies This review is totally gay man...

WIll be posting more here! Keep a watch!

Cheers,
Me.